February 12, 2008 Matthew 26:26-50

Scripture: Matthew 26:43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time saying the same thing.

Observation: There were times when Jesus leaned on his disciples for support, especially His three closest disciples Peter, James and John. Maybe He chose them because they understood Him better than the rest of the disciples. In this passage even they are not available to Him. He had specifically chosen them to go with Him in His darkest hour and had asked them to keep watch with Him, to pray for Him as He struggled with the reeality of the upcoming crucifixion. They got tired and fell asleep even when He had warned them to stay awake and be vigilant.

Application: As much as I count on my friends to support me, love me and pray for me there will be times when the only one I can count on is the Father. Others are human, the Father is the only one who will not fall asleep on me or abandon me. The night before my open heart surgery my beloved wife left me in the hospital to go home. We had talked about her staying there in the room but she would not have gotten any sleep with all of the interuptions. After she left it was just God and me. No one else was available. As I went into the night I was afraid and it occured to me that I needed to know God better. He had to be enough for me. Often I had depended on others to meet my needs more than Him. Afterall they could talk to me, hold me, listen to me, give me advice. Now it was God alone and I sensed that that was the way He wanted it to be. In essence He was asking me "am I enough for you?" He said "I want you to desire me more than anything, more than anybody." He wanted me to make Him the number one priority above all else. I had to take a look at my relationship with Him and decide if we were close enough, if I trusted Him enough so that if I just had Him, and no one else was around, that that would be enough. Perhaps this is what Jesus experieced to a greater extent when His disciples were all too human and left Him to fend for Himself.

Prayer: God I want to love You so much, trust You so much, know You so well and prioritize You so thoroughly that I am more than content should it be just You and me. Thank you for not falling asleep on me, ignoring me or losing interest in me. I am greatful that every thought, fear, confusion and question is known to You before I even say it. You know me and love me and love it when I depend on You. Ultimately my relationship with You is the only one I get to keep. May I be satisfied in You.